December Newsletter - Staying Focused
December 2025
Staying Focused
December is a month full of emotional landmines, excessive social obligations and overwhelming financial demands. It is easy to forget that this month is devoted to religious holidays such as the Immaculate Conception, Saint Juan Diego, Our Lady of Guadalupe, Hanukkah, Christmas, the Solemnity of Mary, the Epiphany, and the Feast of the Holy Family. It takes careful thought and planning to sacrifice the time and respect that these holidays deserve.
What kind of December do you want to have?
In our secular, commercial society December has become a “Roman Holiday” filled with distractions and temptations to eat and drink ourselves silly. It is more meaningful to have healthier holidays that focus on our family and our religious traditions. This is a time that many struggle to guard their emotional wellbeing.
What does a healthy holiday look like to you?
A strategy to stay positive is to ponder the magic and mysteries of the holidays. People are often friendlier and politer. We often wish even strangers a happy holiday. Many individuals give their own time and money to help the less fortunate. Be a part of this comradery and try to reach out to everyone you know to wish them well. Focusing on the wellbeing of other’s helps us to cope with our own sadness. It is easy to become depressed during the holidays if you have suffered a loss, setback, illness or death of a loved one.
How will you spread goodwill?
If you are someone who is grieving a loss you may be struggling to keep up a façade. It is appreciated when you are considerate of other’s sadness during the holidays. Be kind without being excessively cheerful. I once confided my pain to a business associate that had also suffered many losses. His simply smiling and saying “I know we’re both going to make it” made me feel understood and supported. Try to be that person for someone else.
How will you be sensitive to others during the holidays?
To have positive, healthy holidays it is necessary to have boundaries and to not be afraid to say no. I learned this when I trained with Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of Business Network International to become a Who’s in Your Room? (a blueprint for healthier relationships) instructor and facilitator. Be sure to initiate and maintain upbeat topics of conversation at dinners and gatherings. Don’t hesitate to change the topic if talk turns negative. Be the one to recount pleasant memories and to acknowledge friends and relatives for something good they have done or something you appreciate about them. Don’t feel compelled to go to every party or event. Practice saying no in a firm, simple way like “no thank you, I won’t’ be able to do that.”
What should you say no to?
We might have to save a time for grief and sadness. I leaned this form my father. I had idyllic childhood Christmases, my father took us out into the woods to cut a tree, we decorated and had a fire in the fireplace. At some point on Christmas Eve my father would always sit down and mourn his deceased relatives. He warned me that when I was older that I would desperately want to talk to him and my mother. He explained that was when you cried out to God for the strength to carry on alone. I don’t try to avoid my grief. I make room for special times to reminisce and play my favorite gospel music. Be tolerant of people who need to alternate between periods of pain and celebrating. Some of us just require a time out with some silence, a Christmas cookie or a few kind words. Don’t be that ridiculously chipper chatterbox without an off button.
How do you honor deceased loved ones?
Have holiday rituals that sustain you even if they seem a little weird or unconventional. Several years I went away to Florida to get away from all the festivities and just walk on the beach. After hearing the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe appearing to Saint Juan Diego as he was walking alone in the dark on his way to church I developed a new ritual. I identify with Juan Diego because he was a widower with no one but his sick and dying uncle. Juan was often walking in the dark both literally and figuratively. In December I like to walk at dusk and pretend that I am going to witness an apparition. This is a comforting ritual that keeps me in touch with the fact that this is a season of religious holidays.
What will your new holiday ritual be?
Come join me at my country retreat in Buffalo, Missouri. The sign at the entrance says Donde Cada Dia Es Domingo (where every day is Sunday). Take a walk down the long driveway at sundown and pray for a miracle. If you visit between Christmas and New Year’s you can do some business planning. You may need a miracle to make up for all the money you just spent on the holidays.
https://evolve.com/vacation-rentals/us/mo/buffalo/462541?queryID=2c2f70dd5b526a4ad69f3561a0e8645d
https://evolve.com/vacation-rentals/us/mo/buffalo/462542?queryID=2c2f70dd5b526a4ad69f3561a0e8645d Originally posted by Coaching for Success via Locable